*Author's note: This guide is a revised, updated and totally re-written edition of my "Diamond Buying Guide" that originally appeared on the Weddings page at About.com in December of 1999. In it, you will find updated links, updated information and lots of information that wasn't included in the original guide. If you've already read my "Diamond Buying Guide", this version is worth a second look.

This is a wedding frugality page, so I feel it is my duty to point out that you do not have to buy a diamond for an engagement ring as long as you have talked about the subject with your partner and both of you agree to this. Despite this, the majority of couples getting engaged do opt to use a diamond as an engagement ring. The trend is slowly changing as more couples opt for various gemstones instead, but the majority still choose diamonds. It is with this in mind, that I bring you this guide to buying diamonds.
This article is copyrighted by Rachel Sanfordlyn Shreckengast of GetFrugal.com and WedFrugal.com
First and foremost, I advise couples to discuss the issue of an engagement ring. Many couples forego this step, and they end up paying for it...literally. Without taking the time to talk with your partner about the engagement ring, you miss out on a lot of information. One of the most obvious pieces of information is that of preference. Your partner may or may not like big stones and you'll never know it unless you ask. You'll also never know whether your partner likes to wear jewelry, favors petite or large pieces, prefers a nice setting over a huge stone or whether your partner even likes diamonds at all. Of course, you also need to find out what type and/or color of metal your partner prefers. There are only two ways to find out this information. You can either ask your partner (you don't even have to specifically mention an engagement ring unless you want to) or you must be extremely observant and find out by looking at the other type of jewelry your partner wears.

If you find out that your partner likes large stones, you may feel as if you are in a bit of a bind. There's really no reason to feel this way as there are certain things that make a stone appear larger than it really is. Stone shape is one consideration. Did you know that marquise shaped stones tend to appear larger than other shapes? There are also certain cuts (such as a radiant or princess cut) that can make a stone appear larger to the eye. Of course, by discussing the issue with your partner, you might just find out that the preference for the larger stone is learned. In other words, your partner may want a larger stone because they've heard myths such as "if it's under a carat, don't wear it" or "the more your partner loves you, the bigger the stone." These myths are exactly that...MYTHS and they have nothing to do with reality. The only true "rule" concerning an engagment ring is that you want to get a ring that your partner will love and want to wear for a very long time.
This article is copyrighted by Rachel Sanfordlyn Shreckengast of GetFrugal.com and WedFrugal.com
There are other steps to insure that a larger ring/stone will be within your budget. Why not give your partner your mother's or grandmother's ring if that option is available to you. It shows your partner how important they are to you, because you are essentially saying "I love you enough to trust you with a piece of jewelry that belonged to someone who I love/d throughout my entire lifetime...and I want to love you throughout my lifetime as well.". You can't beat that sentiment with any ring you might purchase in a retail setting. Another option is antique, vintage or used engagement rings. The truth of the matter is that diamonds rarely retain their value and you can often find them for 50% or more off retail prices. This basically means that you can often find a more "impressive" ring through such sources than you can through retail sources. Of course there is always the option of going with a "starter ring". In such a case, you start with a small ring or stone and step up to a larger ring or stone on a specific date (such as your 5th or 10th anniversary). Another option is a starter cubic zirconia in the size that she wants. There's one pitfall to these types of arrangements. If you don't do as you promised (upgrade to a different ring in 5 to 10 years), you're going to find that there will be resentment in most cases (whether spoken or not). You really don't want your partner to resent you, so only offer this if you are willing and able to follow through on such a promise. Finally, don't rush the decision. This is a lifetime purchase and you should take the time to really shop around and decide on what would be appropriate. I suggest looking at engagement rings for a number of months before you decide to purchase one. You'll learn a lot by taking this step.

Pages In This Article: Pg 1: Preferences, Pg 2: Metals, Pg 3: The Four C's, Pg 4: Diamond Advertising Myths, Pg 5: Further Diamond Buying Resources

Best Wishes,
Rachel Sanfordlyn Shreckengast
06302002